My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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