Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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