Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
