i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
