Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize