If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize