Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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