Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
