Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is this like a preordered booty call?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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