oh god the rape fog is back!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
