I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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