no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
