overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
