Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
