I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You made out with two different species that night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize