I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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