At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
