So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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