that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
