Dual....:-)
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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