The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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