Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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