Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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