Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
