Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize