He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize