if i can run in heels then i can drive
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
