smell my finger.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
