**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
