i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
