im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I am morally bankrupt
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
