she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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