I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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