someone get that fucking seahorse.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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