Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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