Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
