let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
