I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
