??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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