I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
