When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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