New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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