Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
