I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
