She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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