I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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