Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
