New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize