I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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