Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
