What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
