I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize