Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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