yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
