its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
