By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
