Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
