I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
