my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
