I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
