i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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