But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
